on the scale (guest post by kendall privette)

on the scale (full well)

me on the left, friend in the center and my twin on the right
c. 1978 (an era of confidence)

i liked myself as a child
you know,
before adolescence and an awareness
of
others
it was maybe fourth grade when
i began building this
ramshackle self-image
on the shoddy foundation
of the world’s eye
that saw
stringy hair, ruddy complexion,
spectacles and old clothes
in my thirties
i befriended
the scale, the world’s voice
fluent in lies as well as numbers
she interprets weights and assigns blame
she dictates our days and strips us of self-worth
she is power
(if we allow it)
and i fell for it
the husband, moms, sisters, doctors wanted me to know
what david-god’s-beloved knew….
he had a heart tuned to
god’s eye
god’s voice
and he sang
i praise you because i am 
fearfully and wonderfully 
made;
your works are wonderful, 
i know that full well
this breath-taking verse revisited yesterday

and i retucked it into memory
for when the world tries to speak
and i need her to
hush

so, what is your relationship to the scale?

(guest post by Kendall Privette at A Spacious Place)

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8 thoughts on “on the scale (guest post by kendall privette)

  1. Oh, Kendall
    She can be a jailer without you even knowing that she has locked you away in a very lonely prison! And only our Lord Jesus can set you free for He does not only speak the truth, He is Truth Himself!
    Much love
    Mia

  2. “dictates our days and strips us of self-worth” That has been my relationship to a scale. I’m actually in the process of writing a post on how I’ve let numbers define my worth. I’ve struggled with an eating disorder for most of my adult life and I’m exhausted. I need to embrace God’s Word. My power verse has been the exact verse you shared, “your works are wonderful I know that full well.” God, please help me embrace Your truth!

    Your words are beautiful! Thank you!

  3. Oh…I knew that devil friend….but thanks be to God…we became good enemies…and by His love the scales no longer measure my self worth…now…that truth…we are fearfully and wonderfully made…and His love sets me free. Great post Kendal….blessings

  4. When I was eleven, I gained some weight, and looked a little heavy for a little over a year. Then went on a growth spurt that ended up leaving me looking like a skeleton. (slight exaggeration) I was always VERY active, until my car accident. I never gained weight until I wasn’t able to do what I loved. (sports) Twenty three years later, I am doing my best to exercise and eat well. I haven’t always had the best relationship with food. I have lost thirty pounds, and plan to take it to where I think best. It will probably be another twenty pounds before I am done. No matter what my body size has been throughout my life, I have never been happy with how I look. That may be a problem that goes beyond the scale though.

  5. I have always had a relationship with the scale that told me I was too big – even when I wasn’t. All my friends were small and petite, I was athletic and muscular, but bigger. The scale beat up on me for years and drove me to eat, eat, and eat. I have finally beat the scale back with faith in God and myself.

    Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!

  6. one of the hardest posts i ever wrote was about admitting my past with an eating disorder. but so many people came forward to say it helped them and i realized that admitting my pain allowed myself and others to move forward in healing. i believe that although showing our weakness is hard, it somehow allows us to grow stronger. as if strength is forged in honesty, and openness and laying bare our souls for the world to see, and judge and talk about. we survive because we’re survivors.

    http://www.thegiftofmondays.com/2011/10/i-used-to-have-eating-disorder.html

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