Beauty. That was a word that seemed illusive to me for so long. That was a word which I thought so many others possessed but I never would. It was a powerful word packed with pain for me. I so longed to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be declared beautiful. Can anyone else relate to that? I mean my Father told me I was beautiful all the time, but I figured He had to because, well , I did belong to him. The interesting thing is I have an identical twin sister who I thought was gorgeous. IDENTICAL twins and yet I would look in the mirror and see ugly. I was never pursued by a guy, never told by a guy that I was beautiful. In fact, on my prom night, when I actually felt like a beautiful princess because of my beautiful dress, my prom date told me I was not pretty enough and left me on a bridge for the evening!
I thought if I lost weight I would feel beautiful. I lost 60 pounds in 3 months due to a parasite I like to call Perry that I picked up while serving God in Nepal. Still beauty was illusive to me. Tried different makeup, earrings, training for a marathon—still beauty seemed out of my reach. Then one life changing year I picked up the journal/Bible study by Angela Thomas called Do You Think I am Beautiful. In that Bible study she encouraged you to ask God the question, “Do you think I am beautiful?” and wait for the answer. So I did. And I waited. I really waited. I knew this was a question I needed God to answer to the depths of me. I waited and waited, until I forgot I had asked the question and moved on. Then I went on a silent retreat for graduate school called Dynamics of Spiritual Direction. In the first part of the retreat we were supposed to only be silent. Walk around the grounds, be silent and listen for Jesus. During that time an older gentlemen in my class, who I had never met before came up to me. He said, “ God has an answer for your question.” I looked at him like he was crazy. First of all, we were supposed to be SILENT.. second I had never met him.. third I had no idea what question He was talking about.
Song of Solomon 4:7 He said.
Ok.. I said.. thinking this man is crazy. But I grabbed my Bible and looked. And what I found took my breath away.
It said, You are altogether Beautiful my love, there is NO flaw in you.
Does anyone want to shout glory with me.
God had answered my question, declaring me His beautiful love—with No flaw. No matter flabby or skinny (and usually I lean to the flabby side), zits or no zits, approval from guys or no approval.. I am beautiful!
God wants to answer your question. He declares Song of Solomon for you. You are altogether beautiful, there is no flaw in you.. insert your name in that!
Thank you, dear Jennifer, for sharing your insights on beauty with us…