The eating disorder occult: Video 1

I remember the day. The day when food became foe. The day when my plate became a battlefield and every bite, a bullet-wound. I was nine but I felt 99 and all I wanted was to know I was special, and so I stopped eating.

I have struggled with worship of self, both as a child, and an adult. Not knowing how to see myself as made in God’s image, I created my own image. This manifested itself in the form of anorexia nervosa.

I have since learned how to see. I look like God. I can only know what this means by seeking my SOUL IMAGE: my value, as a child who reflects God’s attributes. This, I can only do by seeing Him, everywhere I go. I hope to share this NEW SIGHT with you, as we journey.

I have learned that eating disorders are not about food. They are not about calories or weigh scales or size one jeans. They are spiritual battles, ones the enemy instigates to steal God’s children. A battle to rob those who should be pure of heart of any heart, a battle to pull them away from God’s face into the idolatry of one’s own.

Eating disorders take food, one of God’s greatest gifts, and turn it into a weapon. They take humanity, God’s greatest creation, and turn it against God in an addiction to self.

An eating disorder is an occult. One that affects men, women, grandfathers, fathers, sons and daughters. It isn’t always clinical, in the form of anorexia or bulimia; it is often just what it sounds like: disordered eating. But the more that it provides one with identity and value, the less God becomes.

Those who battle an ED battle the very thing that caused mankind’s initial fall: the fruit, intended to bring life.


Welcome to the first in what will be a series of lessons provided by FINDINGbalance Founder Constance Balance.

This is my humble effort to help restore relationships with God, to bring freedom to those who struggle with idolizing food in some form or another.

If you click here, or on the photo above, you’ll find the link to this week’s intro video, as well as discussion questions you can use with your son, daughter, spouse, or friend. Each week I will introduce a new video. This one is free to download; some will have a minimum charge to support the continued work of FB.

***Once you click on the photo, you will be taken to the FINDINGbalance lesson store (after reading over/agreeing to the rules)… then scroll down, until you get to the Intro video. Click on “Intro Week” and a number of formats will pop up for you to choose from: mov, wmv, mp3… click on one, and download it, and you can watch the video. You can then download the discussion questions too…

Here, a summary of today’s lesson:

  1. 75 % of 4,000 women surveyed battle disordered eating … 65 % don’t have anorexia or bulimia, but another form of often unrecognized ED…
  2. Constance Rhodes, founder of FINDINGbalance, had a mom who struggled her entire life with her weight/body image; therefore, when Constance got to college and put on the “Freshman 15”, she automatically resorted to chronic dieting.While an ED is never the parent’s fault, it is often greatly affected by the parents’ perception of themselves and others.
  3. Until we recognize that our EDs are not just physical battles, but spiritual ones, we cannot find freedom… Constance has learned that her body knows how to function if it is treated well. This whole series of lessons is about learning how to treat our bodies, the vessels God has given us, as mothers, fathers, spouses and children, well…
  4. Obsession and carelessness: two extremes that most of us swing between… the goal in the middle is the word “respect” (taken from a Beth Moore teaching)… we want to make decisions about food that respect who we are physically, intellectually, emotionally, relationally and spiritually.
  5. Romans 8:7—Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God… an ED is about focusing on self, which pulls us away from God… FINDINGbalance is about drawing one’s focus back to God….
  6. There is a healer, and there is a stealer, and you’ve been stolen from… and the healer wants to come and heal your heart …

Tell me, friends, your thoughts… have you experienced worship of self? Have you longed to see yourself as God sees you, but you don’t know how? Perhaps you’re wanting to teach your child this SOUL IMAGE… or to inspire your spouse to see how beautiful and loved he/she is… please, share, in the comments section, or email me at I look forward to engaging with you each week. e.


9 thoughts on “The eating disorder occult: Video 1

  1. visited my mentee yesterday. sigh. such a slow climb. but she is climbing. she doesn’t have computer access, but i’d like to print htis off and send it to her. love you, theresa.

  2. I was reading your question about teaching our children their soul image, and it’s such a fine line between building their self esteem so they don’t fall into the “Industry trap” and not having them focus on outer beauty, therefore becoming vain. It’s also confusing to teach our children about good eating habits with the obesity epidemic in America, and not pass on this obsessive type behavior. Wow. Do we need God to pour out His wisdom in abundance.

    • dear jaime… such good thoughts. i think it’s a matter of teaching them where their self-esteem comes from: that is, being a child of God. that, the whole concept of soul image. made in HIS image. so no matter how “high” their self-esteem, they’ll always recognize it is GOD that deserves the glory, not them… and so, a balance occurs, a realizing they are wonderfully and beautifully made because they are made in God’s image, not man’s. xoxo

  3. hey

    thanks soomuch for posting this it brough tears to my eyes a i read aboout basicly my battle. i have been diginosed with EDNOS and trying to find god in this everyday battle is a challange. i have been dwendling sprituallyand i am looking forward to more sessions

    • oh alyssa, i’m so glad you wrote. don’t worry, friend, you are not alone. we are going to be looking at WHO we are apart from food and eating, and who God is, and how we can find our safe place, our identity, in him, instead of in our plates. please feel free to write me anytime ( if you have questions/concerns/thoughts. blessings, e.

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